I am a student at in Uru Mānuka. In 2020 I was a year 9 and in 2021 I will be a year 10. This is a place where I will be able to share my learning with you. Please note....some work won't be edited - just my first drafts, so there may be some surface errors. I would love your feedback, comments, thoughts and ideas.
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Friday, June 10, 2016
Lost lunch W.A.L.T write a story through an animals eye.
Hi Atalasa My name is Sione. I go to St. Bernadette's School. I really like this story called Lost Lunch. I like how in the 3rd slide you described what the lion’s jaws looked like. “But I saw lions too with mouth feasting jaws ready for a daylight snack.” But maybe in the 3rd slide you could also change the color of the text or background to a lighter color to make it easier to read. I thought your slide was great and I would love to read more of your work.
Comments Please structure your comments as follows: Positive - Something done well Thoughtful - A sentence to let us know you actually read/watched or listened to what they had to say Helpful - Give some ideas for next time or Ask a question you want to know more about
Hi Atalasa My name is Sione. I go to St. Bernadette's School. I really like this story called Lost Lunch. I like how in the 3rd slide you described what the lion’s jaws looked like. “But I saw lions too with mouth feasting jaws ready for a daylight snack.” But maybe in the 3rd slide you could also change the color of the text or background to a lighter color to make it easier to read. I thought your slide was great and I would love to read more of your work.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sione great comment.
DeleteHey atalasa i love this story it's great and the end was great I think the background is a bit distracting but keep going with the good work
ReplyDelete