I am a student at in Uru Mānuka. In 2020 I was a year 9 and in 2021 I will be a year 10. This is a place where I will be able to share my learning with you. Please note....some work won't be edited - just my first drafts, so there may be some surface errors. I would love your feedback, comments, thoughts and ideas.
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Friday, May 5, 2017
The life that wonders in letters.
Welcome back to another blog post. On this blog post I am going to be telling you a story in the world war. This story that I made up was a story about letters that the dad had sent them. This story is meant to put you in the eyes of the boys that were reading the letters.
Well done Lasa, you have really captured the mood in your story. You have used interesting vocabulary like "thrusted into the air.....". You have used Then as a sentence starter too much. This is a boring word. THink of alternative sentence starters to add impact to your writing.
ReplyDeleteOk Mr Scott I will do better sentence starters in my story.
DeleteThank you for commenting!!!