My First Draft Lost Lunch

W.A.L.T recall  events through the eyes of an animal.                                                                                        

Success Criteria

I know I will be successful when my recount has a

• Title
• Orientation:  When? Who? Where? Why?
• Sequence of events:  What happened? Describe using the senses (hear, taste, see, smell and feel).

First draft

Lunch lost.(crocodile)

I was swimming in the nice bright day.  I was just sitting down as the birds were cleaning my jaws for a snack.  I was bored so then I ate the bird it tasted great I was still hungry.  After a while I swam to shore looking for something to eat luckily I saw a small herd of buffalo’s.  But I saw lions too with mouth feasting jaws  ready for a daylight snack.  The herd got closer and closer to the lions.  Then they leaped and grabbed the calf so then I swam like a missile up to shore and then I launched myself like a bullet suddenly SNAP! The calf with a thundering noise went MOOOOOO It was like a game of tug of war it wasn't fair as they had five against me I holded on like a shark holding on to human flesh. OH NO! As I dropped the calf and lunch was finished I was hungry for the rest of that day. I can still smell the blood of the calf in my mouth and I was hungry for the rest of that day

Now I am really angry and ferocious that I lost my early dinner who knows I might come back and eat you tomorrow.  

By Lasa